Baby Blue Eyes.

(Play the song below for maximum feels.)

So I was going through my files earlier looking for something from long ago only to find this...

That night, I fell asleep while waiting for you to come back. You left this message and it was the very first thing I saw that morning. It made my day week.

[3:00:59 AM] you: oh right my internet connection sucks sorry beautiful!!

[3:01:05 AM] you: i wish i was there with you:(

[3:01:17 AM] me: me too ):

[3:28:59 AM] you: u still on?(worry)

[3:29:39 AM] *** Missed call from you. ***

[3:29:49 AM] you: aww my poor babys asleep!:)

[3:30:34 AM] you: well sleep well you are one in 6 billion!! and did i mention your incredibly beautiful!:)

[3:31:10 AM] you: always seem to make me smile and cant believe how much you do for me

[3:32:25 AM] you: I dont care how long i have to wait to meet you because i know out of everyone in the world you mikhaela are worth it!!!gorgeous eyes, gorgeous face body... EVERYTHING!!! and one day you will be all mine:)

[3:33:14 AM] you: so if you are ever cranky, feeling down etc i will try my best and tell you every chance i get just how beautiful and special you are to me!!!:)

[3:33:38 AM] you: because you do a great job in making me feel special:) sleep well gorgeous!!

[3:33:52 AM] you: I will be thinking of you constantly. (heart)

Oh wow, I've read this a million times but I still melt (and cry) every time. You were so sweet. Too sweet. You're one of a kind.

I remember we would snack together and halfway through our chips, we would randomly stop and just impulsively stare at each other.

(Uhm yea. Excuse my shitty face.)

I remember you would patiently talk to my annoying cousins during the times I was still preoccupied with something else. I remember how you used to message me every chance you get, whatever the situation.

Your eyes, they're so beautiful. I melt each time I stare at them, and they at mine. What ever happened to us?

(Hi, yea. Excuse my ugly face.)

You made me feel special. You made me the happiest girl in the world. Now, I have you deleted off everything. I miss you, though. All the time. But it's too late now. Is it?

Always,
Mikhaela

Dear Friend.

It's kind of weird to say that. 'Friend'. I'd like to believe we're more than that. At least we used to be. But then life happened. We parted ways, took different paths. You have a new group of friends, and I, well, I couldn't move on from my/our old one. I guess no one is to blame. Although I feel a little bit guilty for not reaching out. For not constantly trying to contact and get in touch and catch up with you. I guess I thought you were busy. Or just weren't interested anymore. And I'm sorry for thinking that. I know you're not that kind of person. In reality, you're the kind who would leave whatever you're doing at that moment if someone you care about is in need. You also wouldn't leave anyone behind. You're selfless. I've always liked that about you. You're quite an inspiration.

I'm writing this because I feel like I need to fix things with you. And I'd like to do it before things get uglier. Before they get worse. I'm not happy about our situation right now. I don't know what it is but I don't want this kind of relationship with you anymore. I miss how we used to be. The old us. I don't want to sound whiny or annoying or like I'm blaming something/someone else for what has happened to the two of us. This is me writing an apology.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't think. I'm sorry I was so insensitive (and to think this is something I really hate about people). I'm sorry I was so dumb. I'm sorry I was such a jerk. I'm sorry for everything. If I had learned one thing about fixing things with someone, it's that you shouldn't make excuses or explain your side or try to defend yourself anymore. It's better to just admit that you made a mistake--may it be big or small; and that if you think you're innocent, well, accept the fact that you were (also) at fault at some point.

I want you back in my life. I don't know if we're ever going to be okay again. Or if we'd ever be the same. You probably wouldn't tell me anything big (or small) about you anymore. I guess if that were the case, I brought this upon myself? But have you completely turned your back on me? Do I deserve a second chance? Forgive me, please? That's all I ask of you. And I really am hoping that I deserve it. This would probably be the only New Years Resolution I will have for 2013 (well this and to lose weight). That's how important you are to me. Please understand. Please find it in your kind heart to forgive me.

Going back to the title of this post, I'd like you to know that you're not just a friend to me. You're definitely the sister I never had. I miss you and I love you. Please know this.

I sure hope so.....

With lots of love and sincerity,
Your sister from another mother. friend. ___________.